Does it seem to you that your pre-teen
daughter has gone boy crazy? Here are
some things that you may be seeing in your new boy-crazy pre-teen:
* She may call a boy she likes ten or more times a day, perhaps
leaving suggestive messages on the answering machine.
* She may write a boy notes that would make even an adult blush.
* She may take the lead in urging sexual
There are ways that you can discourage
this behavior in your pre-teen as they are neither capable physically
nor emotionally with dealing with serious relationships at their
First, you can talk with your child
about sexuality from an early age, emphasizing that sexual
feelings are a part of everyone's life, but that sexual activity
is not always an acceptable option and that sexual aggression
and coercion is never acceptable, whether one is male or female.
Second, you can discourage early
dating and other boy-girl activities. Kids need a time to be with
same sex friends to learn social and intimacy skills. Girls who
start dating before they are psychologically or socially ready
may not know appropriate ways to act in close relationships with
the opposite sex and can feel pressured to imitate older teens
or show "maturity" with sexual aggressiveness.
Third, you should reinforce your
daughter's self-esteem, helping her to discover her intrinsic
value as a person and her unique strengths and talents, Too often,
girls enter the pre-teens and teens with harmful social conditioning--believing
that if they don't have boyfriends, they have nothing--and feeling
that sexual availability, real or simply implied, is the only
way to achieve this ultimate goal.
Disciplining Your Teen
Rules & Limits
Sex & Relationships
Sex & Knowledge
Talking About Birth
Talking About HIV &
Talking About Self-Image
Talking About Puberty
Drugs & Pre-teens